Loving yourself Naked!

We all know what it feels like to catch a glimpse of our naked body in the mirror. Yikes! No matter our body type, there's always something that we're unhappy with. And no matter how many family members or friends speak of our positive attributes and our overall beauty, we can’t seem to drop our insecurities in favour of embracing what we have.
So we turned to the experts for help. We asked Randy Paterson, a Vancouver psychologist and Josey Vogels, a Toronto-based sex expert and author of Bedside Manners, to offer realistic tips to have you loving yourself completely, and in no time.

Be a voyeur Sit or stand naked in front of a full length mirror for 15 to 30 minutes. Breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth, inflating your diaphragm (be prepared: this will make your stomach stick out when done correctly) in order to calm yourself and gain focus. Concentrate on your least favourite body parts and try to bring your mind to a calm, nonjudgmental state, says Paterson. Instead of thinking about your “untoned stomach,” focus on the wonderful children it enveloped. And ignore those wrinkles, instead remembering all the happy moments that caused them. Once you feel relaxed, embrace your body as a whole, saying “my stomach,” “my neck,” “my scars,” loving each part that makes up who you are.

Accept yourself Ever used hatred as a form of motivation? Like saying to yourself, “If I detest my love handles enough I’ll start a diet or go to the gym?” Never works, does it? That’s because we’re more likely to do something good for ourselves if we actually like our bodies, says Paterson. So instead of focusing on areas you dislike, try to concentrate on the parts you’re proud of – like those broad shoulders or great calves. And slowly work up to accepting the areas that you’re not so fond of.  

Massage your body Grab your favourite scented oil, find some alone time and get rubbing. Not only will self-massage show you the ins and outs of your body’s shape, but it can also help you to embrace those parts that you’re not as keen on, says Vogels. “Make peace with [the areas you don’t like] by treating them nicely to counter the constant negative images,” she says. Not only will you feel better, but pampering your skin will make it appear more glowing.

Go shopping Splurge on expensive lingerie, suggests Vogels. But make sure to buy it from a store where employees know their stuff. They’ll be able to put you in something that fits perfectly, making you feel sexy and confident, she says. And even if no one else is going to see it, you can feel sexy just knowing it’s your little secret.

Lower your standards We’re all guilty of it – checking out another woman to see which areas of her body we wish we could have. Problem is we set different standards for others than we do for ourselves. What we consider to be a great butt or perfect breasts on someone else, we view as too big or too little on our own bodies. And, as Paterson says, “When we measure ourselves against others with these very different rulers, we forget that the rulers are different.” The result: we end up feeling inferior. So it’s time to face reality and judge ourselves in the same way that we judge others – realistically. We don’t expect everyone else to look like Victoria's Secret model Marissa Miller, so why do we demand it of ourselves?

Get waxed Never had a bikini wax? It’s time to try one, says Vogels. “There’s no need to lose it all, but don’t be too modest either.” You’ll be surprised at how sexy it can make you feel. Plus, you’ll remove that fear of any little strays sticking out at inopportune times.

Learn to strip Round up a girlfriend or two and join a striptease class. “Not only will it help you get fit,” says Vogels, “but dancers know how to make the most of their body and move in ways that make [them] feel and look sexy.” Just learning a few moves can help instill confidence and possibly unleash your inner sex goddess. (Your husband will want a private show.)

Hire a stylist Alright, so this option’s a bit pricey, but it’s definitely worth it, says Vogels. A stylist, whether she works with you for half a day or a week, can show you exactly which outfits will best suit your body. Consider it your own What Not to Wear consultation, minus the cameras and criticism. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when wearing an outfit that really fits. Instead of walking with your eyes down and shoulders slumped, you’ll be standing up straight, turning other people’s heads. (Visit a store that has a personal shopper so that you can do more trying on and less thinking when it comes to a new wardrobe.)  

Redecorate Painting walls a light shade of pink can make any skin tone look better. “Pink walls cast a blushing glow that gives everyone’s skin a kissable hue,” says Chatelaine Assistant Style Editor, Stacey Smithers. Want to add even more romance and sensuality? Replace regular bulbs with frosted pink versions or light a few candles. Not only will the soft lights help hide flaws, but they can also help you to feel more confident. (Perfect for Valentine's Day!)

Get naked Pose nude for a local art class. ”Why?” you scream in horror. First, you’ll make a few extra bucks. And, it’ll help you to conquer any fears of being seen in the buff. For once, you’ll be able to see your body objectively – through the eyes of others who are viewing it as a piece of art, appreciating the beauty in your naturalness. If they think you’re worthy enough to sketch, shouldn’t you be a bit more proud of what you’ve got? (If this just simply isn't for you, pose nude in front of a mirror again, although this time the new you should shine through. Leave the door slightly ajar, just in case your honey is home and gets a little curious.)

By: Shandley McMurray with Deirdre Uria